Today was Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I read story after story today of babies lost to online mom friends. Tears filled my eyes. Some of the things they've endured are just unthinkable. I also remember my own three angels I carried for such short times. 6 weeks, 9 weeks, and just about 48 hours.
It doesn't matter if you've lost one baby or six. Whether you carried that baby for one day or to term. If you knew you were pregnant or not. That little life finds it way into your heart within a flash and you are forever changed. Loss does change you, there's no denying that. And while I wish that no one had to go through what we've been through and worse, there is some comfort in knowing you are not alone. In knowing you have someone to talk to, someone who understands. Who "gets it." That's invaluable. I'm grateful for those people God has placed in my life. And for those of you who haven't suffered loss but still find a way to reach out. Thank you too. Thank you for making me laugh, smile, and think about anything else even for a few moments. Thank you for writing blogs I love to read. For mailing letters and cards. For continuing to be a friend. For not insisting that I get over it already and move on.
I am so beyond grateful for this little girl. She is my bright sunny spot on a dark dreary day. She is my hope and gift and come to find out, miracle. I may shed tears almost daily over babies lost and hoped for but I will never lose sight of the amazing person that she is. If we are never given another child, we are still parents. We have still been called to raise Karlyn to become all that God intends. And that is a blessing.
If you've lost a child, my heart goes out to you. You are a strong woman and one who will always look at babies, pregnancy, motherhood just a little bit differently. If you've lost a child, you are part of a large, large band of women who know what you're going through. My hope and prayer is that God continues to lead us forward, whatever that looks like, pressing on and becoming the women and mothers we were meant to be.