Let me explain.
I had brought some leftover chicken to eat for lunch and thought I'd eat it with the baked potato. But, I was hungry when I ordered so I got the fries and ate them while I drove back to work. I've decided I like french fries. Specifically, fast food fries. Paleo what? Cavemen would have killed for fries. Anyhoo, I definitely still ate the potato once I got to work.
I feel happy right now, so thank you to whoever is praying for me. I greatly appreciate it. I feel hopeful, and I got two pieces of good news today. 1. Our insurance coverage for this new Fertility Center rocks. Yay! 2. My dad may have gotten the answer to some health issues he's been having. And it might be an easy fix.
I've had so many thoughts since Monday. You know how I ended my last post...I'm not ready to give up? Well Tuesday night I said, I'm giving up. Let's cancel the appointment, let's just STOP. I can't do it anymore. Let's forget about it. (impossible by the way) I really am hopeful that we will be in good hands with this new specialist and knowing he will have many resources at his disposal. It's kind of the last stop so to speak on this journey of trying to have a baby. Not that if we don't have one under his care, that we won't ever, but in the sense that we will have gone through all the hoops. And gone to the top. I get a daily infertility/baby loss devotional emailed to me and Monday's was so fitting. It was all about how do we know. How do we know if this is God saying no? How do we know if this is the next step we should take? I think there are many ways to make a decision and that it is not always a right/wrong type of choice. I think as we wait on the Lord, we can do everything in our own power and use the wisdom He gave us to try and make the best choices that will give us the best outcomes. And then we wait and pray for Him to work. To use those choices we made for His good. To do what we haven't been able to do on our own. And to answer our prayers.
He did it once. I know He can do it again.