So...when I last left you, we had an appointment with an RE and I said I wasn't giving up on the whole baby thing. And I'm still not. But I might be taking a slight detour.

Our appointment got moved and it's actually now next week. But in the meantime...

See. I've had this "thing" on my bucket list so to speak for several years now. Before Ryan and I started dating, I would read Oxygen magazine and was in awe of the girls on those pages. They were figure and fitness competitors and they trained HARD to look the way they did. Off and on over the past few years, and somewhere in the back of my head I kept this idea. Fast forward to now. We have an almost 3.5 year old and in a lot of ways, that's pretty darn easy. No newborn, no nighttime feedings. For the most part, I get enough sleep each night and have energy to make it through the day. Karlyn's a good kid and the fact that NOW is easy compared to what life might look like later is not lost on me.

So. I think I might do it. There is an NPC show 15 weeks from tomorrow, on September 13th. Instead of just figure and fitness though now, they've added the bikini category. It's less muscle-y than figure and doesn't require a crazy routine like fitness. I feel silly, crazy, and way in over my head to even be thinking about this. There's not a lot of crazy things I want to do or feel driven to do, but for some reason, this is on my list. Stepping on stage in a bikini? Yes, that frightens me a little. But it's the training and challenge that appeals to me.

Most girls get a coach. And that's where the $$ starts. Add to it: a suit, shoes, jewelry, tanning, posing lessons, extra food, supplements, travel costs, etc. and it's easy to see that this sport can get pricey quickly. That's why I'm thinking about doing it sans coach. I have a fitness background and I know how to eat, but I'm still worried I won't be able to dial things in the way I need to. BUT if I can save that money and put it towards the other things, it might make this more doable. And seriously. I don't expect to place. Would that be awesome? Of course. But I'm doing this for the fun of it. And the challenge. So maybe I can pull it off on my own?

I know that if and when we have another kid, this is going to be almost impossible to take on. Not that I couldn't because moms of more than one kid I'm sure do it all the time! But I know that now would be easier. And to be honest, after a year of heartache, stress, and trying to have a baby, my brain and heart could use a little diversion. A little bit of "known" instead of unknown as one friend put it. As in, I do this = I get this.

I know some people won't get this and that's totally OK. I think with *kinda crazy* things like this, if you're not doing it for yourself, you probably shouldn't be doing it. I haven't 100% decided that I am going to do it but I have plenty of time to register. 15 weeks really isn't that far out though so I plan to make a final decision in the next few days.


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