Ugh.  I want to apologize for my negative life-sucks attitude lately but it's been kinda rough.  Not rough compared to having cancer or your house burning to the ground but rough in a surprise pregnancy, miscarriage, anger, physical recovery, bill upon bill, dishwasher breaking, leaky damaged sink, mega car repair, I'm cutting my hours so now we need a new budget, this really stinks kind of way.  I haven't been in the best mood and neither has Ryan.  At least one of us has been happy!

Every week I keep thinking, this one has got to be better than the last and it isn't.  Guess what else hasn't been on the up and up?  My diet.  Or any semblance of spending time with God or in His word.  Somehow the three are connected and I have to admit that to myself, whether I like it or not.  Baking a 9x13 of Pinterest freakingly awesome goodness didn't help things either.  But man it was good.

I don't know what to say.  Karlyn's babysitters daughter came down with a very high fever and strep throat last night so I am staying home with Karlyn today.  I'm thankful because I need a day to just be at home.  I read my Bible this morning and two verses stood out to me in Proverbs.

14:29~ People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.


16:1~ We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.

Sigh.  But I want to make my own plans and all MY answers be right!

I've been working on my diet.  I got an e-mail from CrossFit a week ago about another upcoming Eat Real challenge and thought to myself hell no yeah right!! and quickly deleted it.  But here's the thing.  Eating real, Paleo, Primal, natural whole foods, whatever you want to call it is how I SHOULD be eating.  It's not a one month challenge I need once a year but the way God designed us to eat for optimal functioning and optimal mood.  In the past 3ish days I've made a concerted effort to get back to this way of eating and I can already tell a difference.  My mood has been more stable (hard to see, I know) I'm sleeping better, and my digestion has improved.  I'm getting excited -again- about this way of eating and cutting out the crap.  I read this:

"Grains and starches don't belong at the center of our diets.  The value of grains is that they provide calories to people who rely on them; however, grains are not health food"

"Oh, yes--it's that dietary staple that the USDA esteems so highly. But simply stated, our bodies are not genetically adapted to process grains.  Grains cause allergic reactions, high insulin levels, obesity, and digestive disorders."

In the past few days I haven't been perfect but I've consciously chosen to eat more veggies and less pasta.  More protein, less sugar.  I've found a few new paleo blogs.

Some good reading here.  I want to say thank you for friends and family checking in on me and encouraging me through this time.  Like I said, nothing earth shattering but not fun none the less.  Newsflash to myself though - life isn't designed to be fun all the time.  Or comfortable.  What it comes down to is this.  I hate to wait.  I hate not being in control, I hate not getting what I want when I want it.  *Oldest child much??*  I hate knowing that God's timing is best even if it bucks against my own.  I hate it when life works out just as He sees fit and it's actually better than what I could have planned and designed myself. 

So that's life in a nutshell around here.  I need a dishwasher repair man, a bathroom sink specialist, and a therapist.  Please and thank you!

1 comment:

Melanie said...

I am sorry that you are going through such a rough time right now. I can so relate to the boat that you are in. Tucker was born early resulting in a long stay in the NICU and a very hefty medicial bill. Then we have to pay the rest on my doctors and his doctors. I've taken a less paying job at a private school because I feel that is where God wants me to be. So we are stuck with all these bills and I'm fretting over how we will pay them. Mark doesn't have a job yet. The other night I said God I'm trusting you to take care of the bills and I have felt much more at peace about it. It feels as if it rains it pours around here and it seems to be happening for you too. Praying that you'll have some better days.