I had my fourth acupuncture appointment today and I am really, really enjoying it! This all came about when I sat across from my chiropractor a month ago. He asked me, "So how's the pregnancy thing going?"
I love my chiropractor and the fact that he genuinely cares about his patients. He asked if he could refer me to an acupuncturist who has a track record of helping women get pregnant within 4-6 months. Sure! Why not? What haven't I tried at this point...
So I called the office that afternoon and left a message. The next morning Dr. T. himself called me and was so nice and asked some background questions. We set up an appointment for that afternoon. I had had acupuncture once before several years back so I wasn't going in completely blind. Dr. T. is also a chiropractor and though my insurance doesn't cover the needles, they do cover adjustments so...we get to bill it under chiropractic and I get both services for about the same price as acupuncture alone. Score!
I cried that first appointment. He told me, "our bodies are designed to heal." That may not seem like a huge statement but to someone who has dealt with secondary infertility (a new term I was just introduced to) it meant the world. My body is designed to heal. It's not designed to be broken, out of balance, or infertile. He said, "You know what? God has a plan. It's a good one. And he LOVES YOU more than you love your own kiddo." *More tears* Sometimes just someone speaking life into you like that is so great.
Each treatment room has some kind of little waterfall machine and soft music playing so it's super ZEN and relaxing. I almost fell asleep last week because they were busy and I got to lay there longer. I joked that maybe the needles actually do nothing and it's a tactic to get Type-A, over-worrisome people to lay still for 15 minutes and just be. I really do love it though. I get adjusted first and then the needles. They really don't hurt - promise! You feel a slight pinch going in but then you shouldn't feel it at all. In fact one time I could feel a couple of them so they re-positioned them and it was fine. Depending on why you're getting acupuncture, needles will be placed at different points. I'm not an expert at Chinese Medicine but you can read a little bit more here.
I cried again today. Just a little but I do that I guess. Dr. T was asking questions, inserting needles, and telling me that I shouldn't be mad at myself for any of this and I shouldn't be mad at anyone else. He said,
"Do you like yourself?"
I think I said..."er...uh...some of the time." Tears. Because this is hard. And has been really hard. And there are SO MANY thoughts that go through my crazy head. Thoughts like,
I'm not a good enough mother. I'm not capable of handling more kids and that's why He won't give us more. My body is broken. I'm never going to have another baby. God's forgotten.
I'm not going to achieve anything because I'm just stuck here and this is all it's ever going to be.
"You should like yourself, " he said. He spoke positive affirmations about WHY I should like myself and told me not to listen to the voices in my head. He handed me a kleenex and told me it was OK to cry. Then I had to keep wiping my eyes and one of the needles fell out. ha.
I told him I was little bit discouraged even though this was our first month and he said we were only getting started. So. I really do love going. Bummer though, because now I only get to go every other week. I'm hopeful and encouraged. I'm taking my BBT (basal body temperature) every morning because we want to see that stabilize and normalize a bit and see progesterone stay high.
Those are my thoughts on acupuncture! Have you ever tried it? Would you?