The longer I go between posts, the harder it is to start writing. I've been a little preoccupied with training for an upcoming NPC bikini competition. Basically going to work, going to the gym, coming home and cooking/prepping food for the week. Reading articles. I even went to two different posing help sessions. And I think I've made a decision. I AM going to compete. That is my goal. But it's not going to be on September 13th like I'd originally planned. There is a slight chance I could decide to compete the week before that, on September 6th but I think my gut is telling me to pick a show further out. (I know that doesn't make much sense but that weekend just won't work for me - read into that as you will!) Before I started this process, I tried to get feedback from people in the industry that I respected. More than one person suggested that I take the time to gain more weight/muscle first before I do this. Someone else told me I might be 8-10 weeks out. So I got different opinions. I ordered a suit and some heels! Eek. Competing is not cheap, as I mentioned before and if I'm going to shell out the money that show day requires, I want to feel ready. Really ready. I want to feel like I could actually compete up there which is kind of the point. Even though - YES - it's me vs. me in that this sport is about bettering yourself and learning/growing through the process, not just winning a trophy or medal, or beating someone else. It's about lifting more than you could the week before and proving to yourself that you're stronger than you think you are. It's a lot of mental + a heck of a lot of physical.
I'm learning just how much food it takes to support regular intense lifting sessions AND to grow. A lot. I've learned that I can count calories for only so long before I need a break. I hate counting calories or macros which is why I've never done it before...which is why over and over I've had a goal to grow but haven't seen it happen. (side note: My Fitness Pal rocks for this! Makes it easy to log.) But I'm still anti-measuring for the most part...something I have to get over and just do. I don't think counting/logging is a forever thing - gosh no - but when you have a goal it can be quite eye-opening and at the least for a few days can give you some insight. I'm learning you have to be consistent in the gym and pick a heavier weight. Do more reps. Do an extra set. And then eat. More. Repeat. I've gotten really excited about seeing some results but when I stack myself up, see just how far I have to go.
I know everyone starts somewhere and I have to remind myself that I HAVE made progress. I'm stronger than I was five weeks ago and stronger than I was in January. Back at the beginning of the year, I signed up for two months to work with an online personal coach. I've gained five pounds since then which for me is a lot! I wasn't working out at the time (January) and my appetite was definitely lower due to that. I want to put on more weight / more muscle. I want to practice walking in my heels and learning the poses until it comes naturally. (Soooo much harder than it looks) If that means competing in December or later next Spring, so be it. But at least I'll know I've put in my time.
That's all I got. =)