Three Weeks


I should be cleaning my house but oh well. This is weird. Tomorrow is three weeks. Three weeks from when we found out I was pregnant. I know I shouldn't compare but trust me when I say that once you've gone through a miscarriage you can't help it. Three weeks to the day after we found out last time was when my miscarriage began. That morning. I can replay every scene from that weekend in my head. 

The good news is, I really, truly don't think it's going to happen this time. I feel sicker. More nauseous. More tired. More pregnant. But still the thought is there, just because it is.

Our appointment is one week from tomorrow. I keep telling myself that if we can just make it to the appointment, and see or hear something, I'll feel better. We can both breath a sigh of relief. Even though there is no official "safe week," it will be a comfort. 

These days I am struggling to get up for work, make it through the short day there, and then come home and nap. I have little energy and curling up on the couch under a blanket sounds most appealing. Making dinner last night was brutal. I know these are just first trimester woes. I've decided that the first trimester is expensive. This morning I opened the refrigerator and pantry and nothing, nothing sounded good. I had to run by Kroger for a gift so I grabbed the only thing that looked decent since I really needed to eat something for b-fast/lunch. $3.99 for a deli sandwich on ciabatta bread. 1/2 for b-fast, 1/2 for lunch. Plus some fruit snacks and juice I already had. Awesome. 

I'm so thankful. Next Friday cannot come soon enough!

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