1.18.13

So. If you haven't heard yet...we're having a baby! Not for a while thank goodness. But I have been doing some baby blogging. I had to do something during those first few weeks. It will be a little weird because it's me writing in the past but just bear with me. I'm going to try to post them pretty quick this week and get all caught up. They are really for me to remember this all by! So here's the first one. We are super excited :-)

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I'm scared to write this but I know I need to. Because if I think my memory is bad now...phew. Just wait. I wrote one of these last time and never got to publish it. But I think things will be different this time. That is my hope and my prayer. Today is January 26th.

January 18, 2013. 2:00 am. I took yet another test. Yep. No denying it. It's there.

two lines.

Sheesh. I really thought there was no way this month. And told Ryan that! So to say he was shocked by the news is an understatement. I had taken a few the days prior and squinted until I couldn't squint anymore but I couldn't let myself hope yet. I texted my nurse friend Lauren who was at work. At 2:00 am. She saw it too. 

holy crap.

It's a very weird feeling to want to be excited, ecstatic, over the moon and at the same time have a guarded soberness wash over you that can't fully allow that. 

I didn't sleep. I tried to "rest my eyes" as my mother used to call it. No such luck. Those suckers kept popping wide open. I got on my knees right there at the couch in the living room and prayed. I thanked God for another opportunity and prayed please, please let the baby be healthy. Stay healthy.

There was no way I was going to be able to wait all day to tell Ryan. I had a plan. Sharpie. Onesie. Karlyn.

I gave Karlyn a newborn onesie I had bought months before (last time) and asked her to take it to daddy. It said "Daddy's Best Friend." I was following right behind her and stayed around the corner as she handed it to him.

"What's this?...Is mommy trying to tell me something?"

I make my grand entrance. His eyes are waiting. . .

"No way."

Yes way.

I hand him the test. "It says not pregnant."  Um, first of all it doesn't "say" anything and second, LOOK AT IT! To be fair, the line was super light. Because it was super early. But he finally admitted he saw it.

I think every daddy-to-be takes this news in their own special way. Ryan was shocked, like I said. Although I guess he shouldn't have been too shocked. ;> His financial mind has to wrap itself around having another mouth to feed before he can mentally jump up and down. Ok, he'd never do that <---. But he got excited and we're both very happy. And nervous. My first appointment is February 15th. If we can just make it until then, and see/hear something, I know our nerves can relax a bit.

So that's it. How I found out. How he found out. Wahoo.!