Next time. Or what I'd do differently.

I made a comment on facebook tonight about how after only a year and a half, there are things I already think about doing differently with our next child.  (Hypothetical at this point though he/she may be!)

Anyways, it's probably not that long of a list.  But what comes to mind right away?

1) Pacifier.  I hate that stupid thing.  But ooohh, how I loved it when she was baby.  I really didn't do any research on whether or not to use a pacifier.  I just figured that I would and so I did.  Why not?  Maybe because at 19 months old, this child is showing no signs of wanting to let hers go.  Granted, we had her down to only using it to sleep.  Today at daycare was her first time to use it there but she still has it every night to sleep.  Um, make that several of them.  Now, when I pick her up in the afternoons, it's the first thing she wants and all throughout the rest of the day.  I'm going to give her a little slack though because she's clearly working on some molars.  DROOL city.  And so while the hard cold-hearted me wants to take them all away, I feel I maybe should wait until those teeth are in.  Hmmm?  (While I was writing this, she already had one...then went and got the other two out of her crib!)

2) TV.  She loves her show.  (Sprout TV)  I knew I wasn't going to be that mom that never let her kid watch tv.  But I feel guilty sometimes.  It's not like she watches it all day.  And we play, we read books.  But it's just so hot out right now and when we do go outside, she gets eaten by a million mosquitoes that turn into huge red welts.  Sometimes the "show" is just easier while I fold some clothes or make a meal.

4) Milk.  I know most won't agree with me here but that's ok.  I regret ever starting her on cow's milk.  We nursed for 7 months and then she had formula.  And then cow's milk.  She's done fine on it, whatever fine means.  There's a sentence or two in "It Starts with Food" that states that basically, in their opinion, once a baby is on solid foods, they have absolutely no need or requirement for cow's milk.  Cow's milk is for baby calves, to grow big, strong, and uh, beefy.  I wish I had nursed her longer, but I've lamented that on the blog before.  Can't go back! 

Dairy is a known mucus maker.  Add that to teething and all that extra drool-age + the milk is making her congested and croupy.  She LOVES her milk.  We don't do juice at home and I try to offer her water.  She wants milk.  A lot.  At this point, I could switch her to almond milk or coconut milk, (which fyi, is not a complete nutritional stand-in for formula) and I may do that.  Just to give her something else that she thinks is "milk."  I've been meaning to make this switch for a while now; I just haven't.

Will I let our next kiddo use a pacifier?  I don't know.  There are worse things I think!  Will they watch tv at times?  I'm sure.  Will I nurse longer and avoid cow's milk?  I most certainly will try.

Other things I've been thinking about lately...the whole birth experience, epidural, yada yada.  Just pondering...just rolling it around in my head.

How about some things I'm glad I did?!

1) Started a bedtime routine.  Karlyn goes to bed so well and has for a long time (most nights!).  No rocking, no pacing, no back patting.  She gets laid down in her bed and told goodnight and I love you.  She has a bath every night.  Maybe I got lucky.  But I'm glad my mom told me to do this with her. 

2) Made an efffort to feed her healthy foods.  She likes avocado, tomatoes, banana, eggs, meat, grapes, sweet potato.  I'm glad I nursed her as long as I did and then started her on fruits and veggies.  We did oatmeal and rice cereal too which I probably won't do again next time.

3) I read to her.  She loves to read now!  And pull MY books off the shelf!

*None of these things make any woman a good or bad mother.  You are a good mother if you love your child unconditionally and do your darndest every single day to take care of them.  You are a good mother if you're doing your best with what you've got.  We learn from experience and sometimes from other's experience. 

Comments, thoughts, your own "next time" list?



Andrea C. said...

Of course there are things I will want to do differently next time if possible, but I couldn't agree and appreciate your statement that you're a great mom if you love your child unconditionally and just do your best. That's something a first time mom can't hear enough. :)

Amanda said...

I agree with the paci and now I rely on it to much when she gets fussy - I just give it to her to calm her down. Oh Well. But like Brian says "She won't go to college with it" ... I hope not :) You are doing a great job momma!