Bleh.

From poison ivy to work crap stuff, this week has been rough.  The poison ivy started Sunday and has just gotten worse.  I look like some kind of weirdo with a huge red rash on my chest that's kinda hard to hide.  :/  It's miserable and I'm just waiting for it to ride out it's course (2-3 weeks, I'm told since I can't take a steroid while pregnant.)  Aaahhh.  Sigh.  Tonight was a low point after dealing with this for several days now.  We have a ton of changes going on at work, all happening like NOW.  I keep telling myself to hang in there---you have maternity leave coming.  After that, I really don't know.  I'm kind-of in a tough spot right now and instead of praying for wisdom and trusting that God's going to work something out, I'd rather, worry, fret, CRY, and eat Take 5 bars.  And eggs and pancakes: my dinner choice this evening.

Sometimes I feel so uh, how do I say this, skill-less?  I'm not crafty, can't sell, and am not particularly what I'd call naturally smart.  I have talents I think but using those to make a living?  I've yet to figure that out.  So I work in an offfice and try to do the best I can.   And it's hard some days.  I'm not trying to be a downer, I just feel down.  Can I say that?  I'm discouraged and just worried.  My dad tells me he didn't land his "dream job" until just recently.  He's 53 years old.

I guess on the bright side, we get a follow-up sonogram tomorrow afternoon.  I really hope she cooperates this time and that they can look at everything they need to.  And I hope that she is still a she.

Everything will be ok.  I just don't know when or how and how the heck I'm going to survive the next few months.